I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
