Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
