There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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