I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
