it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this will be a night to untag.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
