This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
