I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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