she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
