New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Say something about gay babies.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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