True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
