Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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