we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
