We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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