i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
