I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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