There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
