Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
