trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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