wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
