she looked like the before picture.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
