physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
