Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When are your genitals available?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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