No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
