i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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