Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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