Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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