TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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