I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Small penises have feelings too.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
