Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
