you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
