Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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