Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
