He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
