I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
