i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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