Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
