sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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