my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
