See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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