I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
