i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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