You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
