who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Semen is not good for contacts.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
