If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
