I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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