im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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