Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
