Do vagina's smell?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Terrible idea I love it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
