My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I believe in your delicious
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
