I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
